A Brief Foray Into The World Of Contemporary Affairs [Drinking Games]

While the doyens and doyennes of this site have occasionally quite virulent opinions on the issues of the day, propriety generally forbids us from expressing same in here. It's one of those things, like Boone's Farm or most American light beers, that just isn't done.

But tonight, somewhere in the academic wilds of Old Mississippi, there is apparently to be a televised debate between two men, one of whom will be our next President. And while I would not dare soil these pages with my opinion as to which candidate I preferred do well, I can say with certainty that much of the evening, as important as it may be to watch, will be torturous. We know this going in.

To that end, The Seminal has posted a comprehensive and annotated drinking game for this (and presumably the two or however-many-there-are-ultimately-going-to-be more) Presidential debates. It's pretty nonpartisan:

Every time Obama says "Change," everyone has to switch seats and drink the other person’s drink of choice.

Every time someone says bailout you have to finish your drink and pour another.

Every time John McCain says “my friends“, spit out your drink and shout “I am not your friend” at the television.

Every time “evil”, “evil doers”, or anything with evil is mentioned, drink a sip of French red wine.

So make sure you're stocked up at home, and play along until either you can't see the television anymore, you've gone blind with rage at one candidate or the other, or you've become so full of love for both candidates and all humanity that you can sleep the rest of the weekend, knowing that regardless of whether your bank is still in business or your candidate wants to bomb Russia from their front porch (or not, whichever), you've learned a thing or two about Goldschlager and roofie-coladas.

Because, my friends, isn't that what the Presidential campaign season is all about, my friends?

Comments

[Brian]

The only sensible drinking game for this debate is to start drinking when it begins and don't stop until it's over.

Repeat every time one takes place, especially when Biden and Palin have at it.